I found this Time's article by Tim Padgett, a Catholic writing on the Pope's visit to the United States to be very wise.
He points out that many Catholics believe that you do not have to follow the rules from Rome and other teachings to be a good Catholic. You accept what is good from the religion and ignore what is bad or not reasonable.
"Still, the love most U.S. Catholics have for their church may never again be unconditional. It has to be earned, and simply wearing a collar or a habit won't do the trick anymore. Pope Benedict XVI took some positive steps toward earning it last week. But he needs to realize that his American flock, as good Catholics like Boccaccio did before us, follows a religion more than it follows a church."